because, isn’t that the closest that you can get to another person?
I guess that’s what part of what makes it so difficult.
I’ve come a long way from agony, and silence.
But it’s always there.
How can I explain that this time is good?
That this time it’s just love.
And what’s happening to my body is almost the same.
These hands are for support,
Not for restraint.
But my skin remembers all the hands as enemies,
and all intimacy as danger.
My limbs are just contorting to protect me.
Because this act of love is also the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
And how can I explain,
that sex isn’t a betrayal?
And how can I not feel guilty,
when I enjoy it?
Director: Lucie Rachel
Lucie Rachel is a lens-based artist working with still and moving image to explore themes of domesticity, gender and the unspoken. Since graduating from art school in 2015 she has directed short films for the Scottish Documentary Institute, Glasgow Film and Channel 4 Random Acts, which have gained international recognition. Her recent photography series 'The Silent B: an exploration of bi+ identities in Scotland', created for the Focas Scotland DOCUMENT project, is currently part of a touring exhibition in Scotland and India for the British Council UK-India year of culture. Continuing with an interdisciplinary documentary approach, her focus is now directed towards research through personal narratives, exploring the issues surrounding cervical screening for people who have experienced sexual violence. Lucie lives and works in the UK, where she has recently relocated from Scotland to Brighton, and is actively looking for new projects and collaborations.