Mariana submerges beneath the waves to escape her immobilizing agoraphobia, and in the calm depths reveals a complicated family history through intimate conversations with her mother.
FADES IN:
Various female voices speaking and overlapping on another
ON SCREEN:
3, THREE, TRES, TROI
Origin:
Old English thrēo, thrīo, Greek treîs, Latin trēs.
Noun.
- a cardinal number, that is the sum of one and one and one
Adj – being one more than two
Time (Dimensions of).
- Past, present, future.
WOMAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH
On screen: We took your grandmother’s life and gave it to God.
CUT TO:POOL – INDOOR
On screen: My grandmother. My mother
Mother speaking on computer screen in Spanish
MOTHER (SUBTITLES)
You had a connection with your grandmother that you didn’t have with me.
On screen: and me
CUT TO:INSIDE- VIDEO
MARIANA (SPEAKING INTO CAMERA, SUBTITLES)
I don’t know when I lost the capacity of being.
CUT TO:POOL
Changes scene to Mariana in a dark room
MARIANA (NARRATING)
I’m still alive. What does that mean? Am I really alive, or just surviving?
Subtitles
MARIANA (CONT’D)
You tried to kill yourself. You were saved.
CUT TO:WATER-SWIMMING
MARIANA (CONT’D)
The one thing I ask from the ocean is some peace.
You gave me the gift of life.
FADE IN:Back to mother speaking into computer screen.
MOTHER (SUBTITLED)
I compare myself to an eggshell, if you flick it, it breaks.
WATER-SWIMMING
MARIANA (NARRATING)
I saw you dying over and over again. Why couldn’t I save you?
CUT TO:BLACK SCREEN
MOTHER (SUBTITLED)
I am someone who has been addicted to alcohol and substances.
SWIMMING
MARIANA
It really hurts to breathe.
I found you mom. This time I thought you were dead.
The tsunami of emotions…drowns me.
CUT TO:Changes scene to Mariana in a dark room
MARIANA (NARRATING)
Tattoos instead of razor blades.
Mariana speaking to her mother on the computer
MARIANA (IN SPANISH)
I love you mom.
MOTHER
I love you too. I would give anything to take away all of the pain I caused you both. Anything.
SWIMMING
MARIANA
We took grandma home for her final days. Mom closed your eyes.
CUT TO:Mariana, in a dark room speaking to the camera, crying.
MARIANA
Life. Does life have any meaning? It was not with her.
CUT TO:Changes scene to Mariana in a dark room
MARIANA (NARRATING)
I prayed. Why wouldn’t you hear my prayers, begging for an end?
On screen: Where were you?
MARIANA (CONT’D)
I had my first panic attack March 2010. I became a prisoner of my mind and body.
MARIANA (INTO THE CAMERA)
I just feel something here.
Mariana points to her head.
MARIANA (CONT’D)
My life changed in a second.I developed agoraphobia. And it gets to a point that I’m not even able to leave a room. I feel numb, I want to scream. I have to run. My head says I got to get out. Go, Go, Go! I’m afraid I’m gonna die. Torture. This has to be over someday. It has to end.
CUT TO:SWIMMING- WATER
MARIANA (NARRATING)
The tears of pain and rage we cried. Will the past crush us? Will we let go? I choose a future. A new beginning. If darkness finds me again. I will remember…uno, dos, tres, respira.
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