‘I Am Here’ is a documentary animation about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that aims to make people feel less alone. The film helps people understand the conditions they may have and inspires them to seek help through depicting how the filmmaker and three other women did just that.
If you don’t mind me asking, what did that feel like?
It felt like, I totally could go mad.
It’s embarrassing and terrifying.
I just had white noise in my head.
And I just remember covering my ears.
Can’t breathe, your chest is tight.
And being like, what is that noise?
And then realizing it was actually me, just screaming.
My brain did never get any rest.
My first one in public was when I went to the cinema.
It’s not ’cause we have so many underground lines.
One is blue, one is green, and one is red.
And I didn’t get off at the right station.
So I found myself being at that station, you know.
And before I knew what happened, I was running down the stairs.
So I got off, and I got a panic attack.
I ran outside of the theatre and down the A40.
I couldn’t breathe.
My heartbeat in my ears.
I was, you know, shaking.
A hard force pushing down on me.
I just heard white noise.
I heard a scream for help, and I blocked it out.
And then finally, okay, I am here.
I am here at this street. I haven’ been here since I was 12, and that’s where my dad lived.
Anxiety, depression, PTSD. I was like, “That’s ridiculous, only soldiers get that.”
And was was like, “No, no you really have it, and you may need to get some help.”
You’re not unusual, you’re not abnormal.
You just have to accept you have this kind of problem, and there are help to get.
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